Monday
I’m wasting my youth by being in this place. I should be enjoying the sun in some far away place, or have my heart broken at midnight by a lighthouse. Instead I am confined to this room, while I have to use and waste words to describe hospital safety culture. Why I’m a doctor, being tasked with something so inane and asinine is just beyond. I should really be out there stabbing people with needles!
My name is Jana and I’m changing my lifetime want.
Wednesday
I met an interesting boy today called Nolan. I say “met,” but I really already knew of him through mutual relationships. This is our first interaction, I should say. He usually hangs out with Monroe. I don’t see those two without each other. I don’t like to get out much myself. I find myself thinking about asking Nolan to go out and do things. I don’t know where these thoughts are coming from.
Later, Wednseday
I don’t care for Enya James. She called me J-A-H N-A-A-H. I’m about to start wearing a name tag that read, “Hello, I am Yana!”
I’ve never had this problem back home!
Thursday
I did a bad thing.
Enya: Hello, J-a-h n-a-a-a (seriously!) You look really pale today. are you, OK?
ME: Oh, it’s my medicine. I haven’t been taking the anti-psychotics and it’s been a real bitch against my body. You look peaky too, are YOU okay?
I just want her to leave me alone. I hate myself sometimes. Maybe she will fear me now?
I’m a terrible person.
Sunday
I don’t care for this terrible feeling that I get. It’s cold and awful. Sometimes a sense of dread, followed by a nagging feeling. That I need to get out and do something important.
It physically hurts. I think I need to get out of this place before I yellow wallpaper myself.
I need someone I can say things like that to.
I wish sims could communicate
I need humans.
Monday
Went to the park today with Nolan. Monroe didn’t show. Neither of us spoke.
We made plans for Tuesday.
Tuesday
Nolan didn’t talk again today. Monroe didn’t show up-again. Plans for Thursday. How can I loosen his lips?
Thursday
I gave Nolan wine. He finally talked to me outside of the casual! Monroe went home to deal with family issues. He, Nolan, is not handling their separation well.
He’s not great on wine. He would wobble at times, speak heroically about evolution and then it would be nonsensical. He fell twice.
He’s worse than my not boyfriend.
I had to half carry him home.
I lost my shoe in the process.
Sunday
Nolan talked to me without any extra effort. In fact he showed up to my door, handed me several books and told me to read them and then find him once I finished. He is an odd one.
Tuesday
I found him before I finished the book. He said I was doing friendship wrong.
He called me a friend. I have a friend. Maybe this isn’t real.
Thursday
I finished one book and found him. It was hard but I found him. He was at a table in the caf alone and he looked so sad. He said it was where he and Monroe would eat and study sometimes. We sat in silence for awhile. I invited him over the weekend for pretzels and horror movies. He accepted.
Monday
It is true and real! I have a friend. A human shaped and fleshed out friend of corporeal form.
I don’t need you anymore.
Goodnight, Lester.