Two chairs center. The Queen and the Host are nor interacting. Snow White is standing a few feet behind both, The Stage Manger cues the Host who comes to life.
The Host: Before the break we were discussing rising talent. Madison, who are some of your favorite young actors at the moment?
The Queen: There are so many young actors, it’s hard to pick just one.
The Host looks to Snow.
The Host: What about your daughter? Is she going to follow her mother’s footsteps?
The Stage Manager, runs on and hands Snow a mic.
Snow: I never thought about it to be honest.
The Host: Of course, you’ve had small parts in some of your mother’s work.
The Queen: Very small. Hardly noteworthy.
Snow: My mother is the star.
The Host: We all have a final bow!
The Host pulls Snow to next her, pushes The Queen over in the process.
The Host: You have the face for it.
The Queen is displeased.
Stage Manager: That’s a wrap!
The Host walks off the set and the Stage Manager walks off in the opposite direction.
Snow: Are you all right, mother?
The Queen: What was that?
Snow: I’m sorry?
The Press runs to Snow and the Queen. The Queen is pushed out of the way.
Press: Miss Snow!
Press: Is it true you’re going to replace your mother in, “All my Stars,”
Snow: No.
Press: Are you in talks with Disney into becoming a new princess?
Snow: Someone said that? No!
Press: Are the lead in the upcoming epic, Donald and–
Snow: I am not an actress!
Press: What?!
Snow: I don’t want to be an actress! I want something more.
Snow: (audience) Don’t you hate it when people try to make you do things, you don’t want to do? I have dreams. I have wants, don’t you? What about you? (after asking a child) Fantastic! That’s great!
Song: I want something more
Snow:
I want something more
I want something more
I want adventure
Sure, acting can have you transported in time and space, but when the film ends, the credits roll, you’re back to where you were.
Sure, there are great romances, dashing and daring princes to sweep you away.
But when the lights go out, they bow and leave the crowd.
You have an empty place, something yearning to fill the place
No, I want something more
I want to touch hearts
Spoken:
I want.
What do I want?
sung:
I like cooking and baking, running and jumping
I can climb trees better than any boy could
I can skip and hop
I can love and forgive just about anyone
They say I have quite the endearing heart
But it’s just a part to play
My father died when I was young and a part of me with with him
I want to see him, I want to know that he watches over me
Is is he proud of who I grew to be?
Does he miss us?
Does he know?
I want something more
I want my step-mother to know, I don’t care about blood.
I wish she knew it doesn’t matter
the press, the fans, acting
I want mother to know that I love her
I wish that love was enough
we don’t need anymore
Spoken:
The Queen: Snow what are you doing? I’ve been waiting! Hurry up!
Press: But Snow, surely acting is something you would consider?
Snow: I’d rather live in the woods.
Snow and the Press leave the stage. The Queen waves, but is unnoticed.
The Queen: ( to audience) Can you believe that? Hello! I’m still here! The star, if you please! Am I invisible? Am I an eucalyptus tree or can I speak? You can see me, can’t you?
Song: I’m still here
Scene Two
The living room of The Queen and Snow White’s home. The Queen is on chair as if it were a throne. Snow is placed in such a way to appear lesser in standing.
The Queen: The people admire you.
Snow: The People? Oh. Your fans.
The Queen: My fans.
A Servan enters, he hands objects to The Queen and Snow. For Snow, a heart pendant and to The Queen, an reflected mirror like object.
The Servant leaves.
Snow holds the pendant longingly before putting it on
Snow: Papa.
The Queen: Do you remember when I won, this?
Snow: I do.
The Queen: They said I couldn’t do it. That it was too much, that I didn’t have it, but I did. I showed them. Do you remember?
Snow: I do.
The Queen: They said I couldn’t sing, remember? That I didn’t have the looks or talent. But I showed them!
Song: I do
Snow: You were magnificent.
The Queen: Were? Were? What does that mean?
Snow: You are everlasting talent and grace.
The Servant enters and hands the Queen a newspaper.
The Queen: “Spotted: Rising star Snow White out with fans.” Fans?
Snow: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
The Queen: “Snow White: Queen of our hearts.”
Snow: I didn’t do anything.
The Queen: You’re trying to replace me!
Snow: No, I’m not!
The Queen: You’ve always done that!
Snow: No, I haven’t!
The Queen: Have too!
Snow: Have not!
The Queen: Too!
Snow: Not times infinity!
The Queen: Go to your room!
Snow: Mom!
The Queen points off stage and Snow storms off.
The Queen: (to audience) Well, what do you think? She trying to replace me?
pause.
The Queen: Ah, what do you know. You.
(to Servant) What do you think of, Snow?
Servant: She has a kind and endearing heart.
The Queen: “ A kind and endearing hear.” I’m sick of hearing about her kind and endearing heart!
Servant: She has a way about her.
The Queen: Well? (to the object in her hand)
What do you think?
Voice: Take heart before it’s taken from you.
The Queen: Take heart. Take heart. There it is!
(to audience)
The Queen: I know what to do! Take heart! A kind and oh so endearing heart.
Scene Three
Snow: I don’t understand her. She knows I don’t want to be an actress, how many times do I have tell her? I want something more.
Servant enters.
Snow: Can I help you?
Servant: Your mother requested something.
Snow: I don’t have any options for her roles. I don’t want to take over her career.
Servant: Oh, nothing like that.
Snow: Oh?
Servant: You see, she really just wants your heart.
Snow: My heart?
They run around the stage. The Servant reaches forward and grabs the heart pendant around her neck and pulls it off.
Snow: My father gave me that!
Servant: Now it’s hers.
Snow: Fine! She can have everything. This room! The roles I was never offered! She can take it! I’m running away! Ha!
Snow storms off stage. The Queen enters from the opposite direction.
The Queen: Well?
The Servant hands her the pendant.
The Queen: And where is dear Snow?
Servant: I don’t know. She said she was going to run away.
The Queen: What happened?
Servant: She ran away.
Both exit. Snow enters from stage opposite end.
Snow:. I thought there would be more woods in the woods. Is that a Wal*Mart? Anyway! Look. I can use this as shelter.
Lays down on a newspaper.
Turns and turns back to face audience and picks up the newspaper.
Snow: Oooh! “Roommate wanted, apples need not apply,” what? Apples? How odd. I personally love apples.
Snow comes upon the house. Grumpy is outside looking at the ground. Apples are on the ground.
Snow: Hello. I’m here about the roommate ad?
Grumpy: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Snow: From the newspaper. This newspaper.
Hands him the paper. He throws it aside without looking.
Grumpy: Shh
Snow (whispers): What? What’s wrong?
Grumpy: It likes oxygen.
Snow: It?
Grumpy: Yes.
He points to an apple.
Grumpy: It.
Snow: The apples.
Grumpy: The fiddling apples.
Snow: I’m here about the roommate ad.
Grumpy: It moved!
He jumps.
Doc enters from the opposite end.
Doc:Grumps, leave the tree and apples alone! We need them for the market!
walks over to Snow.
Doc: Hello.
Snow: Howdy.
Doc: You look familiar.
Snow: How weird.
Doc: I bet you recognize us.
Snow: Should I?
Doc: We’re the seven dwarves!
Snow: The seven?
Grumpy: The group formally known as the seven vertically challenged and fun sized, not dwarves troupe.
Snow: I only count two.
Doc: The other five joined the circus.
Grumpy: They have a fantastic retirement plan.
Snow: Anyway I’d like to talk about
Grumpy: Stop!
He moves about the area, circling the apples.
Grumpy: I can hear it scheming.
Doc: Oh, here we go.
Snow: The apples? They don’t scheme. Evil things scheme. Not apples.
No more apples song
Grumpy: Throughout the ages a vile beast has felled kings and sages. Waged war, mayhem and chaos. A great albatross!
Snow: What has?
Grumpy: Apples!
Snow: No way
sung by Grumpy:
They say to eat an apple a day, it keeps the doctor away. That’s a mistranslation! For a doctor knows, the patient is lost.
Sung
Snow: No! Apples are delicious! They’re useful and healthy. A baker knows a bushel of apples has a thousand dishes
Sung
Grumpy: Though they are innocuous, apples are obnoxious and noxious! A great beast, marks you for defeat! Ask the Greeks and Trojans.
Snow: Mythology doesn’t count!
Grumpy: The war was real!
Snow: Apples are juicy and lovely
Grumpy: They’re chaotic and deadly
Snow: Warm apple cider beside the fire
Grumpy: They’re a great albatross
Snow: Delicious and lovely
Grumpy: Any assassin knows, the greatest weapon to behold
Apples!